My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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