Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
