Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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