dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
