Umm I'm too high to move.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
