Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
