Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
