i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
