The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
zippers are such a cool invention
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
