pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
