Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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