...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
