are you still at the devil's house?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
