If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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