He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
