we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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