i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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