You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
