I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
