Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I am naked and annoyed.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
