And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
