Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
