My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
