it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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