I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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