Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
