I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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