isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
