And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
