I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
