My first STD was from a foam party
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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