I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
