Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
