its not stalking. its research.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
