Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
