its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
