that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
