Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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