Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
