I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
