Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
