I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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