The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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