One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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