Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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