so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
