So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
