Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
