If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
