We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Swine flu. Run for my life!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
