Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
